A shaky foundation

I like visual aides. So I found this fabulous new program that allows me to upload my picture, enter the product I'm using, and it produces an image of what my face will look like after years of using the product. Let's give it a whirl, shall we?


Here's a picture of my face this morning, after applying Laura Mercier oil-free foundation:

Here's what my face will look like down the road if I continue slathering it all over my goofy mug:

The program takes a while.....

.............

just a few more seconds......

OK, so as you probably guessed, I made up that part about the new program. Even if it existed, I probably don't have the computer skills necessary to use it. But you get the drift. The safety rating of my foundation?

8 out of 10!!!!

In case you're keeping track, that puts it in the "High Hazard" category. Awesome. The mystery toxin? Yet another name that simply rolls off the tongue and sounds oh-so-friendly:

TRIETHANOLAMINE

According to the Cosmetic Ingredient Review people, there is strong evidence that this stuff is, and I quote, a Human Skin Toxicant. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I plan to find out, and anything with "toxic" in it feels like a red flag to me. Apparently it's safe for use in rinse-off products but, um, that clearly does not include FOUNDATION. Yes, people, I will be phoning the good people at Laura Mercier cosmetics tomorrow to hear what they have to say about putting a known Human Skin Toxicant in my foundation of all things.